I’m an assistant coach of a U14 girls team and was put into a situation on the weekend. During a game on the weekend, one of our girls was chopped down from behind on a breakaway and there was no call from the ref. My coach and I as well as our parents all let out a “Come On”. The ref stopped the game and came over to the coach asking him why he yelled at him. Our coach calmly told him that he thought there should have been a call. The ref asked him if he would like to ref the game and he said No. The ref left and the game continued.

After the game, the ref quickly removed his shirt and proceeded to strut around without his shirt on in front of the girls. He came over to our bench and asked if we got our player cards (which we did) and our coach asked if he had everything he needed. The ref got very defensive and was up in our coaches face asking “What do you mean?” Our coach said “I just asked if you had everything?” and this ref wouldn’t let up asking him “I don’t get what you mean?” He was looking to get something started. Our coach walked away from the incident. About 5 minutes later, this ref called me over (again without his shirt on) and questioned me “How would you feel if during the game I yelled at you and your players?” At this point he was 2 inches from my face (I’m a female approx 5’4) I stepped back and told him that it wasn’t his job and proceeded to walk away. He kept yelling things at me as I kept walking. This ref was desperately trying to stir something up and the look in his eyes terrified me.

What is the best thing to do at this point? You hear about abusive coaches towards refs, but what about abusive refs towards coaches?

Also, the fact that he was half naked walking around 14 year old girls, disturbs me as well.

USSF answer (August 17, 2009):
If this incident were to have occurred in the United States, rather than in your country, the team would be able to file a report under U. S. Soccer Federation policy, viz., Policy 531-10 Misconduct of Game Officials. Surely there are similar procedures to be followed in your country. To save some time, we will forward your question to the appropriate person in your country.

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